Waiting...Part of the "Great Adventure"

So, why is the waiting part so difficult after we take a step of faith and put ourselves "out there" for something big?

Yeah. Well, I'm both excited and a bit nervous about this waiting and "big changes" thing...it's been a good few weeks now since I submitted my application. There were a few loose ends to tie up (like getting 2 references resubmitted because they got lost somehow through the mail, but I had them send it via e-mail and that was quicker), but all in all, it feels good to have it in God's hands in this way. I've been finishing out my recruitment season with trips to Philadelphia (my parents spent that weekend with me, which was nice because it fell over my 31st birthday - so we celebrated together by having Chinese food (like in the photo) for dinner, instead of me being alone!) and one more to NYC (in December) as I await "THE DECISION" from Student Venture.

Actually, as part of (pretty) standard procedures, last Monday, Nov 23rd, I spoke with Lynn, the Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC) person who's reviewing my application. She had some questions for me about my application and I was glad to speak with her. She kindly clarified a few things that I'd answered as "I'm not exactly sure, but I think it's..." when I filled out the Doctrinal Questionnaire. (That Questionnaire has some tough questions in it - especially since you're not allowed to reference the Bible while you're completing the questions! hehe.) We spoke also a bit about some of the things I'd shared in the "Moral Convictions Questionnaire" and how I admit to still being a work-in-progress in God's hands at this time (as all of us are works-in-progress, eh?).

I also felt like God really gave me the chance to speak with Lynn so I could ask her some questions about her experiences as staff at CCC and SV - because she's worked both in the field as an SV staff worker in 2 cities and now as a staff member at the CCC Headquarters. She's also been working with CCC for 23 years through her single and married years (now married to someone in ministry too, and has 4 kids) - so she had some really helpful and encouraging insights as to how God's called her and brought her through all of these years and seasons of her life. Both for her and her husband over these years, they've seen God do wonderful things and provide in so many ways too. Just having that time to talk with her was really so nice! After the conversation, I can still say with confidence that I feel like the door still remains open and I will continue to walk forward and through that door as the Lord wills - or until he closes that door. (photo = doorway/entryway to SV Headquarters)

A cool thing is that I had been wondering about exactly when the dates are for the upcoming 5 week training, should I be approved to join as staff. Lynn didn't know the details, so she said she'd look into it for me. After we finished the hour long conversation, I saw that completely different CCC staff member had e-mailed me DURING the conversation with Lynn and provided me with all the information about the training session I needed! God does answer prayers even before we pray them =)

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, I understand that anything can happen, and for any various unforeseen reasons, my application could be turned down...so I'm trying to wait on God to give me that final green light that will unlock so many other things that are hinging upon this decision/piece of information: giving my 1 month's notice to my job, landing some part time work, registering for the January 5 week training session in FL, finding someone to sublet my apartment for the Spring semester, raising support and funding for the traning session and to become a full time staff person...and so on, and so forth. =P Needless to say, I can certainly use all the prayer anyone can spare...but at the same time, I know whatever happens, I still give God praise and glory for how he's sustained me and strengthened me throughout these past 5 months (wow! that flew by!) as all this was unfolding.

I still don't know what's going to happen, but I see that each time I tell someone about this and what's unfolding, I keep feeling this sense of "Wow, God, this is what it's like to have an adventure with you, huh?" =) How amazing to be reminded of how God leads us on adventures - like when Abraham left everything to follow God's call on his life into a new land, even when he didn't know where the destination was...or when Joshua followed God's call to enter into the Promised Land...or when the fishermen and tax collectors and other men were called by Jesus to leave everything and follow him - - they left everything to pursue what was greater!! And I want to live out faith like that! I want to pour out my life for God however he dictates and follow him because He's worth it!

I should hear from CCC/Lynn by this Monday, Nov 30th, about the decision on my application. Please pray that God's will be done. =)

Thank you for joining in my journey...till next time, may we always be -

In pursuit of Him,

Kar-Lai

The latest news - & btw: my app is finally out in the universe!

Praise God – it’s done; I finally finished my application! I FedEx’d it last week so the headquarters would get it on Friday the 30th. I spoke to Mike at headquarters and he says it might take around 2-3 weeks for a decision to be made on my application…so now, I wait and pray.

App Stuff: Truly, it was quite a challenge, finishing this 70 page (!) application in the midst of a very busy recruitment and travel season at work. It was admittedly very difficult to find time in between the week long trips I’ve already had (Boston and San Francisco). Those weeks were always packed with high school visits and interviews that took me from 5:30am-8:00pm sometimes. By the time I’d finish with a day of visits and interviews, and managed to get a bite to eat, it would be time to go to sleep. Then, coming back into the office was a whole other type of crazy because so many other staff would be out traveling, we’d have a skeleton crew on tap to do the daily tasks of answering e-mails, phone calls, greeting the public with information sessions and conducting (yes) more interviews of prospective students. One would be lucky to find any time to get home and do some laundry during the week and repack quickly enough to be ready to go out again the following week to another city for more of the same. I’m in Princeton, NJ this week and then I'm off to Philly, PA the third week of November. (Fun fact: I’ll have the interesting privilege of turning 31 in the city of brotherly love…my goodness…how time flies. =P hehe)

Other Fun/Music Stuff: It’s been equally exciting these past few months as my band mates in the worship team I’m on have been practicing constantly in preparation for being the opening act for Lincoln Brewster…which took place this past Sunday, October 25, 2009 at Northside Baptist Church through CNY Crossroads (www.cnycrossroads.com). It was amazing and humbling to be able to play at a venue that was sold out with over 700 people in one place…the largest crowd I’ve ever played in front of! And I so thoroughly enjoyed the experience of being able to work on a handful of songs over a longer period of time and fine-tuning them till pretty solid. Needless to say, I’m quite tired these days and today, I found myself sniffling a bit – so I hope I don’t get sick!!

Aaaand, Back to App Stuff: Anyways – I’m just so glad to have persisted and persevered in the completion of my application to Student Venture. I so greatly appreciated the depth and breadth of the questions that were asked of me in the application. It’s a lot of work, but it’s been such a wonderful thing for me to go through because as I answer their questions about my doctrinal beliefs, background information and family dynamics, my employment and educational history, my ministry experience and more, I’ve learned a lot of things about myself. Truthfully, I’d never really stopped to do a “self-evaluation” of where I’ve come from and who I’ve become in Christ. It was great to be able to take the time to get to know myself better through these guided questionnaires.

“The Past;” a.k.a. Scary stuff: I must confess, though, that the Moral Convictions Questionnaire was a bit scary in some ways because it forced me to really think about how I approach some touchy subjects like boundaries and relationships between guys and girls, past messes and slip-ups, or my own “skeletons in the closet.” Admittedly, there was a part of me that still felt like I wanted to cover up my past and not have to air it out again. However, I knew that the only way to give God glory for healing and bringing me out of a messy past was to acknowledge it, and acknowledge the mercy and grace He’s shown me in spite of my mess. So, I wrote honestly in the application and prayed hard for God to do with it all what He will so as to bring Him the most glory in the end. All I know is that God has a purpose for every little thing that happens in our lives, as he’s promised. So, after completing the questionnaire with much prayer and care, I still thank God for this because it’s been a great way for me to revisit a lot of things God’s taught and shown me as he’s been delivering and fixing me up!

In Closing, (Finally!): At long last, once I looked over the application multiple times over the past few weeks, I came to the point where I no longer felt like I was forgetting something or not clearly answering a particular section/question. Being a bit of a perfectionist sometimes who can get hung up on specifics and details, it was hard to let go and stop tweaking the application and just finish it and get it out. However, I’m feeling at peace about how it all ended up and what I’ve included in there. It’s crazy how much I’ve prayed for God’s direction, longed for something to change, and now that something seems to be happening, I see how scary change can be at the same time as being so refreshing. Does that make sense at all?! It’s like I’ve finally gotten a drink of water and see over the hill to the open door – only to be a bit afraid that it’s not actually gonna happen and worry the door’s gonna close. You know what I mean? Kind of like when I have to fly to a new destination and I can hardly believe I’m going to get to go – and part of me only believes it when I touch down and arrive at that destination. *sigh* Oh, unbelief – be gone from me!

All 7 of my references should be in or on their way, and now that I’ve sent my application to headquarters’ human resources department, all I can do now is wait, pray, and trust in the Lord’s plans. In a way, because one never really knows how things will end up, I feel like I can’t fully celebrate about this open door until I get the approval and even go through the support raising process itself…but that won’t stop me from praising God anyways every step along the way. Regardless of what happens, I know I’ve already learned so much more about myself, about who I am as a Christian, and what a staff position with Campus Crusade/Student Venture and/or missionary job might be like. It’s not so foreign after all or out of the question for me to be considering missions work…which is amazing because I remember, many years ago when I was still a teenager, being resistant to ever considering missions work. But I distinctly remember being literally physically compelled by the Holy Spirit to go get prayed for and anointed with oil when the speaker did an alter call for anyone who might have missions in their future. I thought it was crazy and I’d never do missions work, but still found myself drawn up to the altar. I thought it would mean I’d be going to Africa, or elsewhere and living a modest life doing what? – I wasn’t sure. And now , here we are!

Just Keep Praying, Praying, Praying: I’m trying not to think too far ahead while thinking ahead a bit too – I still have to deal with putting in my resignation in the future, looking into part-time employment during support-raising season, moving from my apartment to my parents’ house again, and the continued process of trusting God in new, challenging, scary and yet exciting ways. But, regardless, God is so great! I can only look forward with anticipation and excitement as He unfolds the next chapter and season in my life. I hope and pray that whatever it entails, I’ll continue to bring Him joy and glory in everything.

Thank you for your encouragement and prayers…I’m so grateful for the chance to keep you in the loop and hear from you about what’s going on in your life too. Please do write me anytime at gahlai@gmail.com. I hope and pray you are well.

Till next time, blessings to you!
Kar-Lai

Update: "God's Still Calling!"

So, I have continued to pray and seek God's heart and direction as I work on completing the application. While it's been difficult to carve out time in the midst of a very highly busy travel season at work and with the outside activities I'm involved in, completing the application and seeking God's confirmations has been on my mind all the time. What's great is that lately, oftentimes, my daily devotions and scripture readings, a few circumstances and friends' statements have been re-confirming for me that this is the door God is still leading me to walk through.

I actually just finished a phone call with the director, Warren Bane, tonight that encouraged me greatly and I felt the Holy Spirit stirring within me, re-confirming again in that inexpressible way that the door is still open and "calling out to me". All I can say is, although things are gaining momentum and going well in Syracuse and part of me longs to stay, I keep sensing and hearing in my heart that God is calling me to more than just the good that's happening now - He's calling me to follow Him into things that are beyond what I can see or imagine at this time. I'm still trusting in Him and though I don't know what this kind of change or move will entail or result in, all I know is that as God's calling me, I want to follow and not miss the opportunity to see His plans come to fruition as I obey. Warren was very positive about me continuing to be a "shoo-in" great addition to their organization, and likened my candidacy to that of the potential SU student that is a straight A, very actively involved and top candidate that doesn't need that extra "I'm pulling for this student" advocating statement by the recruiter. =)

So - I'm nearly done with my application and really hope to get it finished before another week goes by. As soon as all the references and my application are in, they will be able to render a decision on it relatively quickly. Then, and only then, will I be able to finalize my decision by telling my boss at work and give my month's notice while working out the details about how much longer I'll work while prepping for the January 5 week training period and support-raising season.

In the meantime, I'm continuing to try and give my best at work and serve God in the workplace with excellence. I traveled to Boston, MA last week and am (happily!) on my way to San Francisco, CA this weekend to spend the week there doing high school visits and conducting student interviews.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers. Please let me know how you're doing too! =)

Love in Christ,
Kar-Lai

Visiting Student Venture Headquarters (Orlando, FL)

Can I just say how great God is?! I was able to fly down to Orlando, FL on Sunday (9/21) to meet with the headquarters staffon Monday (9/22) for a tour, staff meeting, and interview. I wanted to write a more detailed message to you describing the events of the day and what my thoughts were after it was all done. As always, I value your opinions greatly and encourage you to let me know your thoughts as you hear me share about this whole process and opportunity. As you all know, I am quite verbose...so please bear with me as I share...or at least make sure you have a chunk of time set aside to read this mini-novella of an update...hehehe. =)
I was quite nervous beforehand and didn't really eat much for the two days. After waking up quite early at the hotel I stayed in, I got a ride from Warren Bane (the Director of National Recruitment) to the headquarters and was thoroughly amazed at the beauty of the "campus" itself. There were mini lakes, essentially, with fountains and a vast expanse of fields and trees surrounding the two to three very large buildings that resembled mini-White-Houses. I got a quick tour of the inside of the buildings and was introduced to several staff here and there. There was a staff meeting at 10 and I was happy to sit in on it.

What was so refreshing was how the staff took time to pray before their meeting, lifting up prayers to God as they remembered staff out in the field and people who are raising support to become full-time staff members, and prayed for God's hand to be upon them all as they seek to do His will. After the meeting, I was able to sit with Warren and Mike, another Leadership Development National Director, over lunch. I got a nice overview of the heart and vision of the organization and later sat in on a phone call to Google before having my interview with two other staff members, Lauren & Andy. Again, I was overjoyed when they prayed with me before the interview...it put me at ease; the interview went for about an hour and a half, and I was very comfortable during it and able to answer all their questions well.
Basically, here's what I wrote down during my flight back to Syracuse (so it'd be fresh after such a full day) that encouraged me:

1) The spiritual environment is beyond encouraging. There are countless ways and opportunities to receive training, be stretched, learn more about your giftings and how to be spiritually healthy and continue to grow in faith and fruitfulness. They even give you 1 day per month to take off and spend the day with God, get spiritually re-energized...or even just whenever a break is really needed, they'll encourage you to take, like, a prayer break during the day or something!

2) The physical space is amazing! So open, colorful, aesthetically pleasing, condusive to collaborative team work. Very different from the very unpleasant space we use at SU for review...seriously, I almost went crazy in that one small room with white walls and, what, 20 people in it during application review season?!

3) I had a list of questions I'd written out the night before and all of them were answered during the day without my even really having to ask about them!

4) There is much room for growth and movement into any direction and ministry area within this organization because it's so large and has so many facets. I'm totally psyched about this because, instead of having nowhere to go up or around (like at SU), there are many possibilities with this organization...and they encourage it! They say that if they see your gifts and skills being better used in a different area that you'd love more, they'll encourage you to go there...rather than people trying to keep you somewhere just because they need something from you.
5) They do things to make sure staff and their families can connect, communicate and socialize together so as to build a sense of "Family" overall.

6) My interview was about 1 hr 30 min, and we covered a lot of what I've already been prepping via filling out the application...so that was a relief! Praise God =)

7) My role on staff would be to identify potential future staff from various pools, follow and track them through their process of considering joining Student Venture placements around the country, and be available during their search to guide, listen, and encourage them. I'd probably have the freedom to define my position and duties/parameters too as they're open to that. I also might have the chance to work directly with high schoolers too, mentoring/discipling them if that's what I'm interested in.

Once I finish my application and send it in with my 7 recommendations, they'll review it asap even before Nov 1 and tell me if I'm pre-approved, which basically means I'm approved and "in." That will be my green light to proceed with giving my 1 month notice to SU because I'll have to go to the 5 week training session in January and I don't want to miss any of that! During training, I'll be able to send out the official announcement to everyone I know to tell them I'm joining Student Venture and I'll start building up my network of Ministry Partners and raising funding and support. When I've raised all my necessary monthly funding, I will be a full-time staff member and move down to FL where they have people to help me find housing and get situated.

Overall, I felt a great sense of peace and excitement as I went through the day. I kept thinking to myself, "I would love to work here!" There were many things that were positives, and not many that were negatives other than things that I am nervous about (like raising support)...but even those are nothing because if God's calling me to this, I belive He will provide and this is a way He's helping me to grow my faith and trust in Him. I'm still feeling good about things and haven't seen/learned anything that would be a deal-breaker for me. I still have some questions that are in the process of getting clarified, but the bottom line is I can see myself thriving professionally and spiritually there, getting discipled and being used more fully than how I'm being used now at SU. I don't see the door closing at all yet, even when I'm faced with the daunting task of raising support (I'll have to raise money for both the training time and monthly too) or relocating.

In weighing the costs of leaving Syracuse now that I've finally felt more invested and involved, I see that starting anew with Student Venture and Florida would mean I'd gain many more opportunities to grow overall and be more effective in the long run for the bigger picture of God's plans. I understand that God will continue the work he's begun in Syracuse even if I'm not here...but it's a hard decision in some ways because I've just begun to get rooted here! But, I told God I'd go wherever He'd send me and that I would trust His plans, not mine. =)

It's interesting because in the past, when I'd interviewed for other jobs last year, there was always something holding me back from saying I'm passionate and excited about those jobs. With this job, it's the opposite - I am confident I believe in the mission, vision, purpose and values of this organization and because it's all for God's glory, I am certain I can say I'd be passionate about it! I feel it in me, but I've been hesitating to say it out loud - "It's confirmed; God is calling me to Florida!" I don't know what's keeping me from saying it...but perhaps I'm waiting for that last peice - the application approval. So, I'm going to try my hardest to complete my application as soon as possible.

In closing, here are the photos from my visit to Student Venture/Campus Crusade for Christ International,Inc. headquarters in Orlando, FL on 9/22/09: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=121247&id=580456650&l=a228b3a645

Thank you again for your continued support and prayers! I'll keep you posted as things progress...
Many blessings to you,
Gahlai

"Lemme call you back…God’s calling on the other line!”

(An update on my life so we can keep in touch…)My dear friends,

First, I apologize for not keeping in touch so well with you! I hope this message finds you in good health and doing well. You may or may not have known that I have been earnestly praying and seeking God for career direction for the past 2-3 years; I’ve felt ready for something different for quite some time now. I knew I was learning a lot at my current job, but there was always something missing that kept me from feeling that “click” in my Spirit that said this is what I would give my life to do all the time! Last year, I’d actually interviewed for several other jobs on the college campus that were related to recruiting for a specific program. While I was always one of the top 2 candidates, the other person always got the job…and I never really felt myself getting fired up about those jobs. In the meantime, I was getting more and more active in ministry related activities in and outside of the workplace, and I was learning to have a greater love for God so that Christ was taking over more facets of my life and being. Realizing that I have become a great recruiter for my employer, I found myself also realizing that I can and should be an even more effective recruiter for Christ.

Back in June, I’d visited my sister in Korea (she’s teaching English out there) and was able to meet up with my friend Amber, who’s now pastoring a church plant out there in Seoul. I did some music ministry with her and got to meet and hang out with the young adults she ministers to. That really got me interested in missions work as I seriously considered joining her in her ministry there in Korea. So, upon returning to Syracuse, I looked again at a web site my friend Liz had mentioned back in October of 2008 – www.rightnow.org. It’s a site that is like the Craig’s list of missions opportunities. I browsed through their postings (part time, full time, short/long term missions opportunities), bookmarked a bunch, and finally filled out a profile for myself and submitted it to the RightNow people so they could connect me with a missions coach. My coach, Heather T., was able to talk with me and recommend 4 organizations that would be a good match for my interests and giftings. She reached out to those organizations and told them of my interest in their ministry work, and within 1 week, 3 of the 4 organizations contacted me back. The last one was the one I was most interested in, so it worked out well that I was both busy that month and not as interested in the other 3 because the last one, Student Venture, finally got back to me after a month – which is when I finally had a break in my workload to focus on this stuff again! I ended up speaking with Warren B., the National Director of Recruitment for Student Venture (www.studentventure.com), which is the jr/sr high branch of Campus Crusade for Christ, Inc. (www.campuscrusadeforchrist.com). The position is a full-time staff position with the national headquarters as…guess what…a Recruitment Specialist!! Which is exactly what I’m doing now, but it would merge my passion and love for God with my professional life as I seek to recruit new staff members to join and work in the field to mentor, disciple, and train up high schoolers to be solid in their walk with the Lord.

As I think and pray more and more about it, it’s almost as if God was leading and preparing me for this possible new job ever since I was a teenager: I was the quintessential example of why it is of utmost importance to have something like Student Venture around in high schools to disciple and ground young people in their knowledge of and relationship with Christ. As a teen in high school, I called myself Christian but I didn’t really live like I was in love with Jesus – I was just coasting by. I was lukewarm and under the radar both in school and when I went to church. I didn’t want to make any waves and so I didn’t “wear Christ” on my face and sleeve like I do now. But, like most young people, I thought that going to college would solve my problems and I’d finally “find myself.” Instead, because I wasn’t grounded in Christ, I sank into pit of all the things the world uses to tempt you to fall away from God. I firmly believe that, if I’d had someone mentoring me in high school and helping me to find my identity in Christ before I went to college, it would have been less likely for me to fail so miserably at everything as I tried to find happiness, purpose and acceptance apart from God. As I pray, search God’s Word and consult with trusted Christian friends about this opportunity with Student Venture, I hear and believe more and more that this is God’s leading: in His grace and mercy, He is showing me that he can use what was my greatest shame and regret to bring Him glory by helping others avoid the same mistakes. So, in that sense, I identify very strongly with the mission, purpose, vision and values of Student Venture/Campus Crusade for Christ and see how this could be the way God combines my recruitment experiences with my past personal experiences.
Love,
Gahlai
*Next time…an update about my visit to Student Venture headquarters in Orlando, FL to meet with staff and have an interview!

"Going Gahlai" when I should be sleeping...

Just like the title says, I'm blogging instead of sleeping...which isn't the best thing because I've got so many meetings tomorrow, I'm bound to fall alseep during one of them due to the lack of sleep I'm gonna get tonight!!

Hahaha...but, it's worth it to get this thing going. I'm really hoping to use this blog to keep all of you updated on what's going on in my life. This already has been a year of many changes, and I'm currently praying through and moving forward into possible new changes. I know this sounds very nebulous right now, but I'll explain later.

For now, I hope and pray you are well!

Love,
Gahlai